During the long presidential campaign, the question of Obama’s seeming lack of experience was the issue that he had to address over and over again.  It was a valid question, but he handled it with no problem.  I can only assume that his calm demeanor was due at least in some part to knowing that, when elected, he had this website waiting to greet him.  Contained within that website is, apparently, everything you need to know once you’ve become commander in chief.

Granted, it doesn’t tell you how to take control of the government.  That is for you and your militiamen to decide.  But once you get there, why bother setting up some kind of newfangled system that nobody understands?  Just use what we’ve got in place, everything you need to know is right there.

Wondering what branch of government the United States Botanical Garden is under?  Check the organizational chart!  It’s the legislative branch, fyi.  Got a question about your inauguration?  Noooo problem, just click on the handy link the website provides.  It points to an about.com article about Presidential Inaugural events.  I was fully unaware that about.com planned inaugurations.  I’m learning shit and I didn’t even get elected!

By far, the most adorable piece of training to be found on the website is The Survivor’s Guide For Presidential Nominees.  It’s a sprawling .pdf file that covers just about everything anyone who may find a Supreme Court nomination suddenly at their feet would need to know.  It addresses everything, including a section on “Do You Want To Live In Washington?”  Ha!  Bet you never thought of THAT when you went into politics!  Notice that the document was written in November of 2000.  I wonder what happened in 2000 that made them think a guide like this would be a good idea?

There’s also a link to where you can purchase the “Prune Book.”  This document, which can be yours for just $22.95, tackles the tough subjects, such as “managing the federal government for results.”  Well, that’s one way to manage, I suppose.

When it comes time to do a little studying, you can always head to the appendix of Commonly Used Abbreviations.  Any clue what OAR means?  Office of Oceanic and Atmospheric Research.  Get it?!?!  OAR.  Like water.  Oceanic.  Nothing?  OMFG, ur such a lame.

Kthxbai.