The Learning Channel: Teaching Us All Absolutely Nothing

Cable networks often adopt names that cut to the heart of what they want to show to audiences. Animal Planet is like a whole damn world full of alpacas and monkeys, Comedy Central is right in the heart of hilarious. Spike TV is the epitome of what people with the intellect of a 12 year [...]

Entry Level Loser 2: StarMail Warehouse

This likely wasn’t my second job ever, I just can’t remember where it fit in. I think I was in high school when I had it. Now, for those who read of my adventures at Best Value Restaurant and recall I said it was my first job, and I was in college, you’ll have to [...]

Brine Shrimp Vagina

It’s 2:45 in the morning and I have to work at 10:00.  To do this I must leave the house by 8:30 to catch a bus all the way across town.  To do this I figure I need to be up in 5 hours.  But I am already up, so I am ahead of the [...]

This is Some Good S#!t: Practical Uses for Feces

Shit, like Ryan Seacrest, is mostly water. The rest, probably also like Seacrest, is dead bacteria, fiber, fat, and ass mucus. It’s pretty simple (this Seacrest metaphor keeps going, doesn’t it?), pretty awful and people have found far too many ways to make it do something for them.

Booze - The origin of the term shit [...]

From Dumping to Humping: World’s Worst Car Names

Sweet Irony

Deciding that likening an ugly ass car to an ugly ass fruit was a good idea, French automaker Renault tried to launch a campaign that compared the Renault 14 to the pear. The fact that poire, in French, can mean both pear and gullible was apparently lost completely on the manufacturers, as was the [...]